Weekly Writing Challenge: 1,000 Words | Uncertainty.
In life, I am faced with choices. Some I later regret in life. Like dating that boy who Mom hated, but I did what I wanted anyway and ended up with a broken heart and an “I told you so.” Seriously, always listen to Mom. She knows best. I wish I knew this when I was younger. Some we look back on and laugh and wonder how we ever thought that was a good idea. But each decision I made taught me a lesson: a lesson of life, of love, of friendship…
The feeling of uncertainty overwhelms me often. I do not like uncertainty. But my curiosity usually gets the best of me. I see a tunnel, not knowing there it leads, but I’m going to wander down it anyway. More often than not, I regret it. Sort of. I regret not knowing better, yet, at the same time, I knew deep down that I needed to learn something. I don’t give my self-conscious enough credit. It teaches me lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn. I dated people who I know were bad for me. But I wanted to feel accepted. I wanted to belong. No one wants to be single. No one wants to be the one at the dance sitting at the table in the corner, hoping no one comments on the solidarity, because she didn’t have a date to the dance. Nope. Nope, definitely not talking from experience… nope. So, I’d walk down the darkened path, holding hands, but not too tight: tight enough to know I wasn’t alone, but loose enough to let go once I knew I deserved better. My Reason kicked in eventually.
I never wanted someone to define me. It was easy to walk in the dark down a mysterious path with someone. I knew there would be an exit at the other end. I didn’t know when, and I didn’t know where, but I knew it would be there. I knew it would show up at some point, so I always looked for the exit.
Life has been an incredible unpredictable journey. Bruises and scars define my life, but they do not restrict my journey. And sometimes, life just might surprise you. And you might just fall in love and find someone to hold onto tightly without thinking about letting go.
Everyday is a journey. Embrace it.