The Art of Maybe

Do you know how many drafts I have saved for blog ideas? Or actual blogs I just never posted?

Go ahead. Take a guess.

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32!!!

Thirty-two blogs.

I never realized how much I’ve wanted to say, but just don’t say until I look at that number. I’m sure there will be people out there who say, “well, why won’t you just post it then?”

See, here’s the thing.

We have freedom of speech. Everyone knows that it’s supposed to be a right.  BUT. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t come without consequences. You can’t just go around saying whatever you want to say and expect nothing to happen. Do you have the right to say it? Sure of course you do. However, once you put something out on the internet, it is there forever. Forever is a long time. And ONE thing… some simple thing…can change someone’s perspective on you.

“But Megan, stop caring what other people think about you.”

Honestly, that’s bullshit. It’s so easy to say for people who have anonymous blogs. I do think the majority of us deep down care what other people think about us. I sure do. I have opinions. LOTS of them. But is it worth sometimes coming off like a jerk just to exercise the freedom of speech? Not really, no.

Okay, I hear ya. “Well, if you aren’t even saying what you want to say, then are you even being real? Is this your fake personality.”

No. No it isn’t. I don’t write about things that are false. I don’t fake an opinion. I just chose what to write about and not write about… publicly. I have had plenty of conversations in person with family and friends that I would never post on my blog. It’s censorship of my blabbering mouth. Not a fake personality.

I’m not here to talk about huge world issues, specifically politics or religion. And I do think it’s very easy to stay away from those topics if I’m being truly honest; however, I think that fear still trickles down into the rest of my writing when it shouldn’t.

Maybe it is because I grew up before social media.

Maybe it is because I don’t really believe in my writing.

Maybe it is because I’m afraid people don’t really know my sense of humor.

Maybe I’m just straight up lazy.

Maybe I’m out of ideas.

I don’t know. But year after year I have some sort of an excuse to not keep up with my writing. (Or I do keep up and just not post it.)

There comes a time where all the maybes start defining who you are as a person. And it defines your writing style. All the maybes start becoming a firm no. “No do not post that.” “No you cannot say those things.” There are no longer any debates about what to do.

And you know what the irony is?

I like to write about wine, food, running, and travelling. And the occasional poem, which I haven’t shared in a very long time. Literally none of that is political or racial or controversial. Will people have opinions on it? of course. It’s the internet and people can’t scroll passed a meme about peanut butter and jelly without complaining about it. I do have thick skin when it comes to comments and corrective criticism. In fact, I always embrace it. When corrective criticism is actually that, and not “i’m going to tell you something mean just to be an asshole,” it really does help us grow.

What I’m saying is that maybe I just really don’t have an excuse as to why I’m a terrible blogger. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hopefully I can pull myself together at some point to actually write from time to time!

Until then!

Cheers.

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10 Things I Learned in 7 Days

Some times in our lives, we have those enlightening days: days where we learn things about ourselves, each other, life, or the world. The past week opened my eyes to these new observations which I would like to share with you all:

  1. I’m too old to deal with immaturity and disrespect and distrust. I realize people have their immature moments, but there is a time and place for all actions. I don’t need to deal with people who let these qualities rule their personality. Being able to joke and have a good time is one thing, but once that line gets crossed, it becomes more of an annoying nuisance than a fun time. And once the trust is broken with me, it will never be the same again.
  2. “Right on” is the best conversation stopper.
  3. Dancing really is my only form of exercise, as sad as that is. As much as I try to work out, and want to work out, it just doesn’t happen, nor will it happen in the near future.
  4. Twitter is amazing. Make fun of me, I don’t care. But I have met so many amazing people through Twitter and made so many personal and business connections.  There are some people that I couldn’t imagine NOT talking to them on a regular basis. It may seem strange to a lot of people that I haven’t physically MET some of these people, but that doesn’t matter. Some people I HAVE met in person after I met them on Twitter.  I couldn’t ask for a better way to connect with people.
  5. There comes a point when there is too much to multi-task and something bad happens… you know, like your finger might end up getting smashed in a metal gate.
  6. My room is really just never going to get clean. I’m never home.
  7. Girl’s days/nights are the best, even if they don’t go as planned. It’s always a fun time. I’ve been having a lot of them lately with different groups of girls. It’s been an absolute blast. I’ve reconnected with some of my girl friends that I’ve known for a long time, but neglected to hang out as much for whatever reason I had. But then I’ve also connected with new girl friends. And everybody gets along and it makes a happy megan.
  8. Going to a wedding reception, not knowing ANYONE other than the bride and one bridesmaid, which you can’t sit by anyway, and without a date, will force you to open up. It’s one of the best things that has happened to me this past week. Sure I was bummed that my so-called date backed out on me just five days prior, but I met a lot of awesome people, and even managed to snag a guy’s number… as I was about to leave for the night. It was fabulous.
  9. Don’t make fun of people for using their passport as an ID… karma will make YOU lose your ID. Haha. (love you, Chelsea!)
  10. I need to blog more often. It will only make me better at my writing. I need to stop worrying about how good or how bad it is and just hit the “publish” button!  I’m my own worst critic, and I know that, yet I still allow myself to stop writing.

And there you have it. It’s a little peek into the life of me from the past week. Some people will know certain situations I wrote about, yet others remain clueless. I like it that way.

Until next time…