The Art of Maybe

Do you know how many drafts I have saved for blog ideas? Or actual blogs I just never posted?

Go ahead. Take a guess.

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32!!!

Thirty-two blogs.

I never realized how much I’ve wanted to say, but just don’t say until I look at that number. I’m sure there will be people out there who say, “well, why won’t you just post it then?”

See, here’s the thing.

We have freedom of speech. Everyone knows that it’s supposed to be a right.  BUT. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t come without consequences. You can’t just go around saying whatever you want to say and expect nothing to happen. Do you have the right to say it? Sure of course you do. However, once you put something out on the internet, it is there forever. Forever is a long time. And ONE thing… some simple thing…can change someone’s perspective on you.

“But Megan, stop caring what other people think about you.”

Honestly, that’s bullshit. It’s so easy to say for people who have anonymous blogs. I do think the majority of us deep down care what other people think about us. I sure do. I have opinions. LOTS of them. But is it worth sometimes coming off like a jerk just to exercise the freedom of speech? Not really, no.

Okay, I hear ya. “Well, if you aren’t even saying what you want to say, then are you even being real? Is this your fake personality.”

No. No it isn’t. I don’t write about things that are false. I don’t fake an opinion. I just chose what to write about and not write about… publicly. I have had plenty of conversations in person with family and friends that I would never post on my blog. It’s censorship of my blabbering mouth. Not a fake personality.

I’m not here to talk about huge world issues, specifically politics or religion. And I do think it’s very easy to stay away from those topics if I’m being truly honest; however, I think that fear still trickles down into the rest of my writing when it shouldn’t.

Maybe it is because I grew up before social media.

Maybe it is because I don’t really believe in my writing.

Maybe it is because I’m afraid people don’t really know my sense of humor.

Maybe I’m just straight up lazy.

Maybe I’m out of ideas.

I don’t know. But year after year I have some sort of an excuse to not keep up with my writing. (Or I do keep up and just not post it.)

There comes a time where all the maybes start defining who you are as a person. And it defines your writing style. All the maybes start becoming a firm no. “No do not post that.” “No you cannot say those things.” There are no longer any debates about what to do.

And you know what the irony is?

I like to write about wine, food, running, and travelling. And the occasional poem, which I haven’t shared in a very long time. Literally none of that is political or racial or controversial. Will people have opinions on it? of course. It’s the internet and people can’t scroll passed a meme about peanut butter and jelly without complaining about it. I do have thick skin when it comes to comments and corrective criticism. In fact, I always embrace it. When corrective criticism is actually that, and not “i’m going to tell you something mean just to be an asshole,” it really does help us grow.

What I’m saying is that maybe I just really don’t have an excuse as to why I’m a terrible blogger. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hopefully I can pull myself together at some point to actually write from time to time!

Until then!

Cheers.

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11 thoughts on “The Art of Maybe

  1. I currently have 40 posts in my drafts box. I delete them every six months or so. Do the math over seven years.
    Now I’m going to blow your young mind on your right to free speech; the Constitution isn’t a limit on me, or any other American.
    The Constitution, young one, is a limit on GOVERNMENT. The government can’t toss you in jail or harass you for what you say or write (unless it’s “fire” in a theater or “bomb” in an airport, or something exceptionally stupid along those lines)… Especially against the GOVERNMENT.
    See, I can write that I believe James Comey is a lying hack who is protecting the deep state when he’ll back the persecution of Trump but Hillary gets off scott-free when there’s unmistakable, irrefutable evidence (a preponderance of it) that she lied to investigators, obstructed justice, and colluded with Russians (to come up with the fake dossier as her opposition research).
    Every word of what I wrote in that last paragraph is true. Every. Word. James Comey, having been a public figure in government, the head of the FBI, can’t do anything about what I just wrote. The GOVERNMENT can’t prosecute me for what I wrote.
    YOU, on the other hand, can write a scathing post attacking me for being an idiot. You can unfollow my blog, you can publicly dislike me, you could even fire me if you were my boss AS LONG AS YOU AREN’T THE GOVERNMENT. Because the Constitution is a limit on government, not the people. In fact, the rights enumerated in the Bill of Rights are granted by God. The limits on government, or the deep state, if you will, are that the government can’t interfere with the free practice of religion and it can’t pick or favor one religion over another. It can’t censor the free press. It can’t make a law disallowing people to bear arms because a well regulated (that word meant “equipped” back in the late 1700’s) militia is necessary for a free state…. etc., etc.
    It gets a lot deeper than that, too, but that’s a good stopping off point.
    Either way, I guarantee I won’t worry about what you think… Especially if you think I’m stupid for what I wrote in this comment. I know it’s right, and I give everyone, you included, the right to be wrong. And in the end, it’s all good because if you take this comment to heart, I’ve helped make you a smarter American. If you don’t, I can still hold my head up because I did my best to make you a smarter American.

    • I do know exactly what freedom of speech means and I understand all of what you said. You didn’t “blow my mind.” You assumed that I don’t know what it means, which is slightly disappointing, but, for the record, I do not think you are stupid. Just a little jumping the gun saying I’m wrong.

      My post was simply meant to be funny. 🤷

      But thanks for the input.

  2. I think we all have our long list of “posts that never were.” You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. It’s hard to put yourself out there. I’ve been mostly blogging about books and even that is scary sometimes. I wonder what people think, if I’m coming across as too harsh, etc. I love that you put this post out there! It’s good to know and remind ourselves we’re not alone in our insecurities.

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