October Bloopers

Oh the joys of working in a customer service based setting. Technically, I’m a SCCG Account Rep. That means “Sales Contact Center Government Rep.” We take all the incoming calls from customers – who are supposed to be with a government entity – and get them to the correct contact. For anyone who doesn’t know where I work, I’m with CDW. We are an Information Technology reseller – we seem to be a target for some crazy calls. I decided that I needed to document this every month.

Enjoy the bloopers!

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Customer had me look up this product:
velcroCustomer: “So if i buy this and wrap tv on cart, it secure, right?”
Me: “Wait, you want to use this to secure a TV to a cart? Like, to move from room to room?
Customer: “No. In car. I don’t want to fall when driving.”
Me: “I would not do that.”
Customer: “I can buy and try, though?”
Me: “I can’t stop you from buying anything, but I wouldn’t do it. You can test that out if you would like however, I need you to be aware that when your tv falls and breaks, CDWΒ is not liable.”

Yikes.

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Customer: “Sooo I bought this wireless mouse from ya’ll. Over the summer we lost that part thingy that goes into the computer. Will the mouse still work without that piece?”
Me: “No it will not work.”
Customer: “I can return it then right?”
Me: “No. Return policy doesn’t cover items that were misplaced.”
Customer: “Well, I’ll just say that we never received it.”
Me: “Except you just told me you lost it.”

Wow.

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Customer (in a robot voice): “Can I talk to the president?”
Me (knowing darn well who he wanted, I pretended that he wanted to talk to the president of CDW): “Tom Richards? No – we can’t transfer you to him. What is this in regards to?”
Customer: “Um no, ma’am. Obama. Don’t you know who are president is???”
Me: “I’m very aware of whom our President is. Are YOU aware that you called an Information Technology company?
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “And what makes you think that a reseller can connect you to Obama?”
Customer: “Well, shit. I don’t know.”

I hung up.

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Customer: “Hi. Do you want to hear a joke?”
Me: “No. I don’t. Thanks for asking. Good-bye.”

I hung up

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Customer: “Ma’am. I need some help.”
Co-worker: “Okay, what can I help you with?”
Customer: “I need to learn how to jump out of an airplane. You can teach me right?”
Co-worker: “Ummm… yeah sure. I can’t guarantee you’d end up alive afterwards.”
Customer: “Well what good are you then?”

Ha, really???

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21 thoughts on “October Bloopers

  1. My week has been like a diverted, oddball technology week. I’ve been beset with missing emails, dropped cellphone calls, wayward physical mail (in my PO and home mailbox) two lost lab result tests, a broken printer and other strange digital oddities. It’s like something has dropped a solar storm around me. Staying amused, however…😱

      • yes, often things like that need to be asked.

        Most people don’t even do very basic stuff, a lot of people mock turn it off and on again but that fixes a lot of problems.

        Another example is a building had a power outage over the weekend, they call us in IT saying they cannot turn their computer on… hmm perhaps you need to speak to the people in the building that look after your power.

        Ultimately most people assume if it used power it is IT, I had someone call me once to say that their air conditioning was not working properly *head desk*

      • I can’t even imagine! I’m sure it isn’t funny while it’s happening, but it makes for a funny story afterwards.

        I had someone call in telling me how much the HP laptop she bought from us was crappy and didn’t work. Blah. blah. blah. Tells me that it won’t connect to the wireless. I asked if her phone connected to the wireless and she said no. Long story short – she didn’t pay her internet bill. LOL

  2. Wow. I do not miss life in the customer service world. So much face-palming. But they are hilarious to read about none the less. πŸ™‚

  3. Well, if you can’t connect someone to the president and can’t you teach someone how to actually STAY ALIVE after jumping out of an airplane, what kind of information technology person are you? I mean, seriously. Sheesh.

    There’s a reason I no longer work in the customer service industry.

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