You Want Me To Put What WHERE??

(Rated PG)

Everyone who has been near me or called me over the last few days knows that at any moment, I might cough up a lung. Thirty minute coughing spells consumed my life.

There is one positive outcome to these horrendous amounts of coughing fits I find myself in… abs. Yup. An ab workout. I mean, I wouldn’t really recommend making out with the first person you find hacking up a lung, but this has been brutal – in all the best ways – for my abs! My abdominals are literally sore. Or maybe this is just a sign to kick start my workouts? Hmmm. Maybe my body IS trying to tell me to lay off the wings and the pizza and the beer.

But it’s football season! (Well, WAS until today.)

So back to my story. By Saturday, my boyfriend came home from work with a bag of stuff from Walgreens. I was pretty excited for some cough medicine. I needed it. HE needed it mostly. I wouldn’t want to hear someone cough and cough and cough. That gets annoying. I even annoyed myself.

I rummaged around the Walgreens bag and find some dark chocolate inside. Sweet! Chocolate! He loves me!  But I didn’t see any cough medicine. I found a little container of Vicks Vapor Rub. What the heck? I picked it up and looked puzzled.
“You rub some of it onto your feet, let it soak in, then put socks on. It’s supposed to help your cough. Someone at work told me.”

I mean, how does that even make sense?? Rubbing something on my FEET to help my COUGH?? My feet are the furthest parts of my body from my throat. PLEASE TELL ME HOW THIS MAKES SENSE??

I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

Immediately, I text my mother.

Vicks 1. Megan 0.

I texted a girlfriend of mine. Same response as my mom gave me.

Vicks 2. Megan 0.

This must be some kind of a joke. Josh must have some elaborate plan to fool me.

I texted a guy friend…

Vicks 3. Megan 0.

Am I the only one who hasn’t heard of this??

I decided to amuse my boyfriend. Fine. I’ll play along. What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway? At least I’d have some fresh smelling feet! As if anyone will ever be that close enough to smell them.

My boyfriend and I put on Psych, and before I realized it, I wasn’t coughing.

Wait… what? It worked?

I’ve came to the conclusion that I didn’t even care whether it was mind over matter or some crazy explanation as to why this worked. I’m just glad it worked.

It’s okay to be proven wrong every once in a while. Keeps me in check.

Except now I have to exercise for real…

Dang it.


3 thoughts on “You Want Me To Put What WHERE??

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